Dear God,
Please help me. I need time. Lots of time. Life feels like its moving really fast but I never have time to do anything right. I can't catch up. I feel like I'm falling behind. I don't want to lose. I want to keep moving forward but it is hard. I'm scared of losing someone I really love but that certain someone is not the best guy for me. He does a lot of bad things but I really like him. I don't know what to do. It scares me how much people can love someone so much. Why is love so hard. I need to get over him. But it's really really hard.

God, If i told you I want to give up what would you do?
I got through it once but I don't want to keep falling. I want to rise higher for once.
My future doesn't look bright because I lack money. It's not that I am being materialistic. It's that I want the full experience. Ugh I don't know. I am confused and lost. Guide me. I say I love you and I tell others to pray for you but I don't do it myself. I doubt you sometimes. I doubt your intentions and power. I am a hypocrite. Help me. Heal me from all the hurt.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who prayed for me the other day. I was in a dark place the other day and felt depressed and down for long time. It took me a while to get back to my feet and start smiling again. Thank you everyone. Thank you God!
I still have problems running through my head but this time I know that God will be there to help me. I want to get closer to God. There are lots of temptations I feel though. I want to have fun with my friends and experience the world but in order to do that I would have to shut God down i think. Is it wrong to go out and drink with friends and have fun? I want to be a good christian but at the same time i really want to have the full experience. I want to learn what there is to know about the world. Most of my life i spend studying and wasted my years. Would you call these feelings temptation? Please help me God. If these feelings are wrong, please help me reject them. There are so much temptations in this world today. People party and do crazy stuff every day. When i watch movies, i want to be like them. I want to be the person that falls in love and finds the love of her life and has great friends.
I ask you all and God to help me decide what i have to do. I am lost.

Dear God,
Lately I have been doubting you too much. I thought that maybe after a little more time I would come back to my senses and know what you are real and there all the time. But, it has been too long since I felt close to you. People tell me it is okay to doubt you but I don't know when I will stop doubting you. I am afraid that I will forget you in time. Its wrong that i need proof from you to know you are real. I know its wrong. But i just cant find myself praying and asking for you. I feel empty and alone. It hurts every time i think of you. I hate myself for thinking this way. Whenever i go to church i feel like a hypocrite. When people ask me for help and i tell them to pray to you i feel like a hypocrite. I just cant live like this. I dont know what to do. I need guidance. I need your help. This world is getting worse and is sucking me to become worldly. I need you in my life. I lost hope in many things. I probably seem all emotional and pathetic but this is real for me. It hurts me. I cry most nights because i hate myself for being this way. I want to fix myself. but its hard. I cant do it alone. I cant tell anyone because in my friends im the one that helps people. I am the one people rant their problems to. and im afraid to disappoint my parents. Please God. Help me.
In Jesus name i pray,
Amen

Dear God,
I pray that I can find myself before it is too late.